I have directed many shows in my lifetime. I've also written a couple, including one currently under a first-class Broadway option. I like to think I am fairly good at both directing and writing. However, I've never been in the position of directing a script I've written. Until now. I know it can be done and done well. I mean, look at Woody Allen, Cameron Crowe, Quentin Terantino and Nora Ephron. Even red hot zygote Lena Dunham has a handful of statues lauding her for how well she wears multiple hats.
But guess what? Directing your own work is really hard. Now I understand why most people don't do it.
The project I am currently working on is A Gift of Undetermined Value, a play that explores the bioethical issues of organ donation by prison inmates. It also examines the strain that trying events can put on the important relationships in our lives. It is not a light script and it was/is very difficult to write. Even more challenging, however, is the rehearsal process where the demand for me to sit in the director's chair trumps the time I need to spend in the metaphorical writer's room (a.k.a. my bedroom). However, when we are discussing a less-than-perfect scene and an actor says, "That scene sucked!," I find it very hard not to go scurrying back to my bedroom, filled with self-doubt and the fervent desire to fix the scene.
This play is still in development and I definitely see a life beyond the March workshop production at The Brookfield Theatre for the Arts. I am confident that I have it in me to one day be a middle-aged Lena Dunham. However, in order for that to happen, something's gotta give and now is not the time to be giving up the paying job or my family responsibilities.
Until then, I am currently looking for someone to keep my director's chair warm. Applications being accepted at alicia.dempster@me.com.
I'm not kidding.
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