I think one of the most important assets a writer can have is the ability to be as honest and as candid as possible when they are putting their words into an indelible format. The foundation of great writing lies in the ability to choose the right words and apply them to an imaginative and compelling story that is told with candor. Trust me when I say, that is not a foundation that is easily poured.
My first real accomplishment as a writer was when I wrote a novel about my senior year of high school. I spent night upon night banging away at the IBM Selectric writing what I thought would be the definitive coming-of-age novel. Truth be told, with the passage of 25 years, I know it was fluff. It was more of a therapy session than a story that was of interest to anyone other than myself. Structurally, it was a mess. I remember giving it to my father, a writer and former English professor, and asking him for his feedback. When he gave it back to me, with red ink splattered throughout, it was discouraging. However, I learned valuable lessons from that experience: the importance of the rewrite and the requirement for a sock drawer.
While I can barely remember the details of the story, I do recall one thought that was constantly running through my brain while I was writing it: "What will so-and-so think about that when they read it?"
I still find myself asking that question whenever I am writing. I suppose that is because, with more than four decades behind me, I have more stories based on the experiences I've had and the people I've had them with. I am sure the fact that I've actually had people tell me that I shouldn't write about a particular topic or feeling has also made me a little gun shy. There are times when I even tell myself that I can't write about a particular experience until so-and-so is dead. Then I wonder, did Hemingway censor himself in this manner? Did Tennessee Williams? Or were they just too drunk to care?
It seems to me that a writer needs to be aware of their audience. The question is: how finite a definition of audience should be applied? The other question is: how does the constant awareness of that audience hinder honest writing and is my writing suffering as a result?
There is a specific example that comes to mind for me. One of the stories that I am working on involves a young child, based on someone very close to me, who is questioning their sexuality at a very young age and how they navigate that journey in a world that is progressing yet is still challenged by conservative views and policies. Knowing that I am writer, this child has even asked me to write this story. In a way, I've been given the green light to take the filter off and be completely honest. However, I am reminded of a blog that a mother wrote about her six-year-old son and his crush on Darren Criss. The blog went viral and resulted in her son stating he was gay at the tender young age of seven and subsequently meeting his "boyfriend." While the liberal, equality-for-all side of me cheers this mom on for her open support of her son, I can't help but think about what his life will be like ten years from now. Most likely, he will be a happy, healthy gay man. Clearly, he has awesome parents and a great support system and I applaud that. Hell, I give it a standing ovation. But what if it doesn't work out? What if he becomes that kid whose mom wrote a widely read blog about something that, ultimately, his information to share? What happens then? Will his mother's honesty end up being her downfall? Is there such a thing as too much candor? It's a tough call...
So these are the things that I think about when I am writing. I'm still working on picking at the scab and letting the blood of honesty flow. Because, truth be told, I think I need to do that to make my writing really, really good. I want to say what I want to say and let the words fall out. I wanna see me be brave.
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